Road Cyclist’s Ten Commandments

[foz]

The Vatican recently issued a set of Ten Commandments for motorists. I thought it appropriate that road cyclists have their own.

1. Pray as you cycle, but not with your hands together and your eyes closed.

2. Thou shall not run red lights, except when there is no one else around; it shall be as the tree falling silently in the forest.

3. When a motorist cuts you off, offer up the sign of the cross. One finger pointed towards Heaven will not suffice.

4. Thou shalt wave to thy fellow cyclist. If he should ignore you, offer your blessing, and not “!! BAN ME NOW FOR SWEARING !! you, moron.”

5. If three consecutive cyclists ignore your wave, you are exempt from the forth commandment.

6. If passed while climbing a steep hill by a Fred with a 30 inch granny gear, resist the urge to wish that his chain will jump over his plastic dork disc and rip every spoke from his rear wheel.

7. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s ass, nor his six-pack abs, or any other part of his body.

8. Before the sun sets on the Sabbath, thou shalt shave your legs.

9. The meek shall inherit the earth. Blingy equipment that is lighter than an anorexic butterfly, will not substitute for miles in your legs.

10. Thou shalt not lie. Thou shalt not go on Internet forums under a pseudonym and boast how you blew all your friends away on an 8,000-foot climb, when the biggest hill in your area is a bridge over the freeway.

Extract from..http://davesbikeblog.squarespace.com/

[Grev]

That was so inspiring I have written a poem.

Cyclerata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste of two-way Barrack St, and remember what peace there may be in silence, until they chime in at the Bell Tower. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons, particularly bogans is white utes.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; never falsify Strava. Listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant who ride two abreast on PSPs; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons bragging about their PB over the bridge at Betty’s Jetty; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you will undoubtedly become vain or bitter, for always there will be persons who falsify Strava.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your low carb diet, however humble; you were going to get slower anyway.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery – those discounts at TDF time may really be a rip off. But let this not blind you to bargains that still can be had as you become a slave to upgradeitis; many persons strive for high ideals, but the rest of us are stuck with a 10 speed steely.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection – after all you did smash the rest of the peloton riding up Mosman Hill. Neither be cynical about being chicked; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment you were having a bad day.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth, for steroids and EPO can only do so much.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in the sudden misfortune of a clip stack. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings of everyone laughing at you. Many fears are born of fatigue and low glycogen levels.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself, but still go riding at 5:00am, at 0 Deg C. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to do such things.

And whether or not it is clear to you, you are in fact getting slower. Therefore be at peace with your current PB, whatever you consider it should be.

And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life and shards of glass, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. There is always next season.

[Derny Driver]

That was so inspiring I have written a poem.

Cyclerata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste of two-way Barrack St, and remember what peace there may be in silence, until they chime in at the Bell Tower. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons, particularly bogans is white utes.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; never falsify Strava. Listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant who ride two abreast on PSPs; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons bragging about their PB over the bridge at Betty’s Jetty; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you will undoubtedly become vain or bitter, for always there will be persons who falsify Strava.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your low carb diet, however humble; you were going to get slower anyway.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery – those discounts at TDF time may really be a rip off. But let this not blind you to bargains that still can be had as you become a slave to upgradeitis; many persons strive for high ideals, but the rest of us are stuck with a 10 speed steely.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection – after all you did smash the rest of the peloton riding up Mosman Hill. Neither be cynical about being chicked; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment you were having a bad day.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth, for steroids and EPO can only do so much.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in the sudden misfortune of a clip stack. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings of everyone laughing at you. Many fears are born of fatigue and low glycogen levels.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself, but still go riding at 5:00am, at 0 Deg C. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to do such things.

And whether or not it is clear to you, you are in fact getting slower. Therefore be at peace with your current PB, whatever you consider it should be.

And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life and shards of glass, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. There is always next season.

ahahha beautiful!!

[foz]

That's a good poem, Grev..it is a beautiful world...be even better if there were no cars..