Male reproductive health and cycling

[Calvin27]

So I am at the stage where mini-me's are on the cards and run into a wall with the Ministress of War, Finance and now Health too.

I'll try not to rant but pretty much I've been asked (nagged) to quit soft drink, alcohol, caffeine and worst up cycling. Reasoning is everything causes birth defects and I am a absolute selfish dude if I don't do as she says. As much as I want to field questions about how much do I want to hang myself, or whether I should run or hide, I'll try to be productive and put her behavior to maternal hormones linked to her recent pregnant friend. This whole thing is just insanity and we had a !! BAN ME NOW FOR SWEARING !! fight about it tonight again. The problem is all of the content refers to 'what to do if you're having problems' (i.e. couples that have been trying for a while). Thing is we haven't even started. Add to this I am no cycling hot shot. Most weeks I struggle to hit 100km per week and even then it's a paltry pace.

So questions to my fellow cyclists:
- How can I convince her cycling is going to give my kid autism (she really said that!)?
- Can anyone link me some reputable sources to defend my case?

Thanks for your help in advance guys. I'm really pissed off and even offered to have my tadpoles tested along with blood and whatever else but it's all to not avail.

Any other tips are also welcome. I know you guys are a smart bunch seeing most of you are always finding devious ways to hide that new $4k bike!

[tcdev]

Given that you'll be giving up cycling (for a while at least) when the little one(s) arrive, I would suggest that giving it up while you're trying to conceive might be the least of your worries.

In all seriousness, I continued with all of the above and have two healthy kids, 3yrs and 5mths. The 1st took around 3-4 months to conceive, the 2nd (whilst I was cycling) only 2 months. So you could argue cycling increases your chances!

Of course the link between autism and cycling is utterly ludicrous and even borders on offensive. A quick Google presents no such study, and plenty of evidence refuting any link to infertility while you're at it.

I would agree with her to try for X months, and then if that's not successful, then you'll cut out the problematic 'substance abuse' (at least within her sight) and if it must be, cycling.

I have my fingers crossed for you, this situation can be brutal for husbands. I have a few horror stories from friends...

[A_P]

Diet and lifestyle factors influence the quality of our DNA, this is well researched and documented.
If it were me, i would be doing the best i could to produce the best swimmers that you can
However, i cant see how cycling for what is in your case a realitively small amount of time could be of detriment.
Jens has 6 kids !

[Calvin27]

Jens has 6 kids !

Lol!

I've tried reasoning and it's all been futile. Not sure what I'm going to do. I was actually ok with the food stuff (will help me shed some kgs and climb bigger hills lol) but off riding is pretty serious. At least with the food I can sneak it, but how the hell am I supposed to sneak a ride out? This is just ridiculous. I came into cycling because of injury in other sports and now I have to choose again?

Arghhh! This is so frustrating! Should I buy a recumbent?

[A_P]

Have you been told to wear boxer shorts?
Briefs /tight jeans are probably more likely to influence infertility than sitting on a bike seat

[toolonglegs]

Is this serious? ... if so

before it's too late ...

[CXCommuter]

Is this serious? ... if so

before it's too late ...

My thoughts too- Maybe ask whether the kids will be immunised?

I agree with the food and alcohol, that is good, but cycling may improve DNA through you being fitter. There is no link between cycling and sperm quality that I am aware of- there is some evidence of nerve damage to erectile tissue (wasn't there a pro last year who went priapic?) which is not related to sperm quality.

[kb]

Where on earth did she get the idea from? I don't think you can really argue against it if you don't the source, and possibly not even if you do, as it's fairly irrational. You've said you're not getting much riding in but is it possible she's feeling neglected / time-jealous anyway? Maybe a combination of talking about it and choosing ride times carefully (commutes, lunchtimes, early (early works for mine as she's _not_ a morning person...)). The funny thing (well not so funny really) is the number of stories of couples trying to get pregnant and having problems _until_ they stop worrying about it.

[yugyug]

It's a highly irrational claim that cycling will hurt your sperm. You should tell her that if she expects you to make concessions on the more rational expectations women develop during pregnancy, she needs to drop the irrational demands.

But I suspect her argument is based on something else. Does she dislike cycling because of the time or money you spend on it? Some other reason?

Given her other demands, are there are other issues at play? If there is a power imbalance in your relationship it would be good to get that sorted out before kids arrive.

[NeillS]

It's got nothing to do with health. She's testing the waters to see if she can control you fully before the kids come along. Bail now. She's not a keeper.

[Calvin27]

Where on earth did she get the idea from? I don't think you can really argue against it if you don't the source, and possibly not even if you do, as it's fairly irrational.

No kidding. It comes from her skjanky friends who were on the pill for about 8 years straight and then had some difficulties.

It's got nothing to do with health. She's testing the waters to see if she can control you fully before the kids come along. Bail now. She's not a keeper.

Woke up and still pissed off, I'm going to craft up some ultimatums I think otherwise seriously going to bail.

[rodneycc]

I would actually show her this thread! People saying you should bail really shouldn't complicate things without knowing the two people involved.

As for autism, having a child with servere autism myself (conceived before I started riding), yeah that's a bit ridiculous. There is more chance having a child with autism through environmental issues such as using computers and mobile devices to be honest rather than the healthy sport of cycling where you are away from all that in the fresh air! There is no evidence of anything like that as nobody really knows what causes autism still.

Anyway your partner is just a little scared on the journey ahead and just venting I'd say so be more reassuring and just say - fine I will give up the other stuff but I love my cycling and I want to keep doing that...

Good luck.

[rodneycc]

Actually no don't show her this thread unless you can edit out the parts about skjanky friends and going to bail. Yeah bad idea. Just mention about the computers and mobile devices and whether she intendeds to give those up as well....

[rodneycc]

Oh and go and buy a selle smp problem solved...

[Calvin27]

Oh and go and buy a selle smp problem solved...

Researching velomobiles -Seriously.

As for autism, having a child with servere autism myself (conceived before I started riding), yeah that's a bit ridiculous. There is more chance having a child with autism through environmental issues such as using computers and mobile devices to be honest rather than the healthy sport of cycling where you are away from all that in the fresh air! There is no evidence of anything like that as nobody really knows what causes autism still.

It's not ridiculous it's just out right offensive, inconsiderate and stupid. I actually lost it so bad when she said that. It's this that makes me think twice. Imagine the sort of rubbish I'll have to deal with downthe line if this is only the start.

[lobstermash]

This sort of stuff should be on the reproduction license exam...

I don't think it'd be harmful for her to see this thread, or any other material that might hint that her demands and comments are irrational, unkind and selfish.

[queequeg]

Tell her to put down all the stupid books with advice about conceiving kids. Switch off the internet and stop chatting in "I'm trying to get pregnant" discussion forums (ok, my wife did that...lol).

I only started riding shortly after #1 was conceived. It didn't affect the ability to conceive #2, which came off the back of a 10 course dinner with matching wines for each course.

Your other half will know when the right time is to be trying "properly". The other 25 days of the month you are just wearing yourself out

[gorilla monsoon]

Feel for you bro although I was lucky and married a girl with absolutely no maternal instincts whatsoever. She doesn't even like holding babies. Animal babies not a problem so we bought a puppy. Much easier. Personally, I don't get all the fuss about reproducing. Just practice, it's way more fun doing that than changing a crappy nappy. And the planet is over-populated as it is.
But...... if I was in your position I'd take a deep breath and count to 10 then make an appointment for the two of you with your family physician to talk it all through and take it from there.

[Calvin27]

Tell her to put down all the stupid books with advice about conceiving kids. Switch off the internet and stop chatting in "I'm trying to get pregnant" discussion forums (ok, my wife did that...lol).

Hit. The. Mark.

if I was in your position I'd take a deep breath and count to 10 then make an appointment for the two of you with your family physician to talk it all through and take it from there.

Yep. I did mention this, but to no effect. I will escalate to make it an ultimatum.

[zill]

I was lucky and married a girl with absolutely no maternal instincts whatsoever. She doesn't even like holding babies.

I don't meet many women but what percentage of the Australian female population does this group of females represent roughly?

[zill]

Tell her to put down all the stupid books with advice about conceiving kids. Switch off the internet and stop chatting in "I'm trying to get pregnant" discussion forums (ok, my wife did that...lol).

Hit. The. Mark.

if I was in your position I'd take a deep breath and count to 10 then make an appointment for the two of you with your family physician to talk it all through and take it from there.

Yep. I did mention this, but to no effect. I will escalate to make it an ultimatum.

Calvin, I'm no expert at relationships but to me either she has a psychological problem (such as being over cautious/picky) or she sees something strange/unfavorable/weird in you or your side of the family and worried the baby might get passed these genes as well. So either way, not a good situation to be in. A solution might be to try to find another partner. But this is just a (intuitive) guess.

[eldavo]

Grow some balls first Calvin, then worry about their reproductive health.

PS: I was searching for the youtube thread to share this, to give you something more important to live for on your bucket list after "bad relationship learning experience" has been crossed off.

[moosterbounce]

I was lucky and married a girl with absolutely no maternal instincts whatsoever. She doesn't even like holding babies.

I don't meet many women but what percentage of the Australian female population does this group of females represent roughly?

More than you can imagine. There is a real expectation that women will have kids. If you don't, then you are either ignored by those that do, or are labelled "weird" or in some cases "obviously gay".

Personally, I am one of 4 girls. Only one has kids.

[moosterbounce]

Really? You'd leave her? The two of you have obviously got far enough that you are having discussions about children yet you are considering leaving her due to her demands? Wow. That's not exactly ideal relationship material to be talking about bring others into the world. I'd suggest some relationship counselling and a joint trip to the GP to discuss the best lifestyle choices...but sort out the relationship first. Both of you. You both seem to have crazy ideas about relationships and compromise and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Geez...and they say cyclists need licenses.

[gorilla monsoon]

I was lucky and married a girl with absolutely no maternal instincts whatsoever. She doesn't even like holding babies.

I don't meet many women but what percentage of the Australian female population does this group of females represent roughly?

I was going to say "probably not a very big percentage" but I think Moo might have a better idea of the numbers than I do (me not being a girl and all). Forty-odd years ago, when Mrs Monsoon and I hooked-up (and she wasn't Mrs Monsoon) societal expectations for women to reproduce were probably higher. I can tell you we went through a lot of discussions about it with other people over the years.

One work colleague in good old Wagga Wagga even spoke strongly - angrily strongly - about how we had no right to marry if we didn't want to have kids. Not sure what argument he'd put up these days with soldiers from the Rainbow Army.